You see my dear...there are 4 persons that really had mold me to what i am today..While the 1st will never exist without the 2nd...and the 3rd will never appear without the consent of the 1st and 2nd...and i do not see the 4th coming without the teaching of the 3rd...And this is my first step...
While the 1st will always be my mother...a person that i spend most of my time with her when i'm small...a person that i always left her alone when i'm a teenager...and i yearn to be with her every second when i'm an adult...
Ironically my mother never taught me what love is...she is so firm with her decision..fragile at the heart but she is not fickle...and if you gonna ask me what i really learn from my queen..it will be the caring attitude...my mom will always care for me even though i made big mistakes..and i mean really big...she will scold me..hit me with whatever she could grab...but at the end of day she will comfort me...Once i thought, if you gonna comfort me at the end why do you hit me at the 1st place...is it because you could comfort me....
But then i realize,she did what she had to did..because she really care for me...and yah..she really do...
While the 2nd person will be always my father...i never really understand my father...i never really spend time with him..except once at hawker center near sembawang ( now that reminds me of Singapore )
He never really shows what he feel..But of all of his attributes that i respect and learn until now is the sense of responsibility...Not even once he complain about work..not even my father scold my mother...and not even once he neglect his responsibilities as a husband or father...For me,he is a guy that knows what he is doing...while he is not perfect but he is just perfect as a husband and father...
I had asked him once why he never like get angry towards my mother...You know,my mother always nag alot..and i mean alot...So he taught me...You see,if we just gonna react trough from what we see then we will never understand the second party..but if we look trough their eyesight you will understand their pain...So i always look from yours mother eyesight.
Am i gonna be a husband that will defend his wife?am i gonna be a good father...while i do not really sure but i'm really sure that i could be one...
The 3rd will always be my Mudaris Iskandar...a person that i respect not just because of his knowledge but his eagerness to make me better and better...and he is a stranger to start with...The 1st time when i learn from him..it is more like an army camp..There are rules...sign in..sign out...and most of all he is a perfectionist...While the day of national service had gone but only what one thing still remain in him..The eagerness to learn...the attitude of taking iniative..and most of all to defend me when i'm in big trouble...
There is a story that i would like to share..during Ramadan at the year 1999....My mudaris was discussing with his friends of the same age about the cuisine that will serve to us during Ramadan..So during that discussion,one of them suggested to give us porridge and he said that will be just enough...
Suddenly the environment become silence...My mudaris raised his voice up and scolded that unlucky fellow..He said..if they are your son,would you give them just porridge..You answer me...If we do not care for them, then why the hell we expect big from them...As long they are my student, i will treat them as my sons..i will defend them no matter what...and to make them better person i'm willing to be the big bastard..
So from then on...A mudaris he is..a fatherly figure he is to me..and a brother that i'm willng to fight side by side....
Talking about the year of 1999..there are 4 dates i will never forget..
Saturday,6th of april 1957 because it is my mother b'day..
Saturday,21st august 1999because it was the day i met her..
Saturday,26th of july 2003 because it was the day i almost die..
Saturday,14th of Feb 2009 because it was the day i hurt her and change almost everything....
While the last person it will be Akhina Musa...A white hair guy..someone that will encourage me no matter what..never ever get tired with me...and yah...There are lots of things that i learn from him...but one of the things that i really appreciate..is the character to be patience...
I never really and not even once i guess i had look an anger on his face....He is one of the person that i really trust..and guess what,if you really want to know the other part of me..you may ask him...
Once i told him..that i'm a sinner...and the reaction from him make me breaks into tears...He smiled and said..All of us are not perfect..that's why we make mistake...as long you are alive..appreciate what you got..pray for them who left you..and be good to everyone...while we remember our birthday..hope one day those people will remember our date of death because of our good deeds...While Allah is so forgiving..human is otherwise...So be grateful because you and i are still alive...
So that's it..i care for you because i learn it from my mother...i am still learning to be a responsible person because that what my father impart to me...and i may be a bad person...i might look obnoxious but i will defend for you no matter what because thats what my mudaris shared with me...Once i'm short tempered but today i'm more patience..i'm not sure why..but i guess it is all because of him..Akhina Musa...While the 4 dates are days that i will never forget...these 4 persons will always someone that i look up on....
Hope you knows 1/8 of me..
