Sick

While today is like any other day..sunshine...hot and most of all there is still quite few books that i have to read...you know,knowledge is power...i just attended programmers meeting just now..just took a tablet of panadol..and later in the evening gonna meet up with my friends to play squash...a recent activity...

Life is just a routine...you have to schedule your time...and most of all..to enjoy what you are doing...and try to make it beneficial...while the vocab of boring never exist in my life dictionary..however it almost did..but hey..i survived another day....and yah..i just pick up a new activity...to do house chores..it is interesting though..to keep your house clean and most of all to practice cleanliness...and well..it is also part of faith....

Now what

1st korean movie that i watched with my mother..and yah,the song that i do not understand but somehow it touch my mother heart...recommended by my mom though...should try and watch it...

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

Goodnight

One of the song i recently listen to...and i started to understand people feeling...and appreciate it better...




And i would like to say...accidents could happen...but no matter what...please don't ever give up....i pray that you will raise again...



And if you ever need anything...i will be always be here...




But for now....i will pray for your success..happiness..and pray that we will get to meet again...sorry if i ever lied to you..it might not change anything..but i will change to be better...sleep well and sweet dreams....

Family ( finale )

And we meet again...i guess this will be the finale...and after this i should take a long rest.....haha

Family...what does family really means to me....

You see my dear...i was brought up by a surrounding of family without relatives..and so left my mother,father and 3 siblings..include me will be 4....and so my future wife to be the only criteria that come to my mind is to accept my mother as how she is...you know...she nags alot...she like to cry over small matters...

and then new family enter into my life....my friends...Mudaris.....Usrah Dandrawiah...

I guess that's all to it...i do not really gonna talk much for my finale...because i review my previous post...wow...that's a long composition....

While i guess this will be the end...Now you already know 1/2 of me...

My love story ( part 3 )

Welcome back....

Thanks for taking your time to read the posts...although i realize most of the post had make some confusion..bad grammar...wrong usage of vocab...and worse when some of the messages do not convey to all of you...Therefore i would like to say thanks once again and appreciate for your presence...


Ironically that's me...while you understand a gist of my love story,i guess you should understand me as a person..i'm a guy who never really shows what i feel deep inside..sometimes i intend to run away from all the grief and pain...but the pain will not stop..i felt useless..and along the way i'm getting matured..i started to understand why we suffer because of love...and that's all thanks to the Companion of Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam....

Their love toward Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam is pure without asking anything in return...They went to war...They gave their everything for Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam..and after all that suffering they endured, not even once they complaint..The faith that instill within them make them the Rijal Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam...

Have you ever heard a story of a Companion that was so sad when he served Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam...So Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam ask him,Why do you look sad? The Companion replied: I'm sad because when i leave this world for the hereafter,i might not get to be with you in heaven...because You will be among An-Nabiyin and As-Siddiqin and i'm far from that...and if i'm gonna be thrown in hell..that will be unluckiest thing for me because i will never ever get to see you again...Salawatullahi Wassalaam smile and reply: The lover will be with his love ones....

A Companion that never asked for heaven but just a hope to be with His beloved Prophet Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam...And therefore they The Companion endured everything just for Him Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam...

Therefore inside me,the love towards Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam is strong but i will never ever declare that into words..because at these days my action is totally ambivalence...A love that you could never ever compromise...and at my current state,i do not believe i could do it yet...

While loving The Best Creation is totally different from loving just a creation...because Him Alaihi Salawatullahi Wassalaam will never leave us..He lives within us..while the relatives and strangers that are dear to us are otherwise...

So from the 'she' i learned to trust and the heart of human being is not under our power to control it...It is all the work of The Creator from the start...Therefore i will always pray for 'she' to be happy and keep on moving...and i just wanted to tell 'she' that i will always be here....and if one day,'she' gonna leave me...i will cry but i will be ok...as long 'she' are gonna be happy it will be enough for me...I just have to let it go when its happen...and i could not hang on it for long because it just gonna make 'she' suffocated....

Unfortunately the curiosity will not be ease yet...who is this 'she' i'm praying for...for this,please let me keep it as my precious secret...

I would also plead to all of you to forgive me if i ever lied..hurt your feeling...and worse if i make you to look at me in disgust...becauseof what i kept inside for interminable time cause me to die slowly.....Somehow i started to see that at the end of the day,i'm gonna be alone because what comes around goes around....and that will be the atonement...but could i endure it..i don't think so..i need to cling on someone...there is even once i complain to God..dear Allah,if people surround me gonna be hurt because of my presence...please make them leave me..and replace it with someone who could make them smile again....but the one thing i assure you....

I'm changing....and this i promise

Haha...i guess that's it...wow...i could cry right now....since it really comes from bottom of heart...so i guess now you understand 3/8 of me...

Clarification ( Extended Version )

David Cook - Come Back To Me (Official Music Video) - More bloopers are a click away

4 things....( part 2 )

Ok...and here i am again...the weather is hot these few days..even at night though...anyway,i would like to continue where i stop from my previous post...and at this moment i would like to share with all you about 4 things...it might be what would i like to do in future...things i rather forget...my vision...and yah not forgetting my likes and dislikes...so here goes....

There are 4 things that i would like to do in future..it might look impossible but every things there will be always possibilities...

1st: I really wish i could go for bungee jumping...you know,throwing yourself from a very high place and with hope the knot that being tied to both of your leg will not get scrappy...or else...you complete the sentence...Its like a test of courage for me...something that teach yourself to take challenges..not to be afraid to face obstacles even at the crucial moment...and if i die..hey,it is just the cause..everyone will die one day somehow.....

2nd: To pursue my study to the higher level as i could...i aim that i would continue my master degree when i'm 30 and doctorate when i'm 35....and of course i will get marry 1st and make sure that my wife will continue hers study as well....Is it gonna be hard..you know,to support your wife and also the expenditure for both of us in studies...When there is a will there will be always a way...it is just like,understand your situation but do not make it as an excuses for you not to move on..ahah..and the course...its either language or history....

3rd: To quit smoking...this will be the hard part...not gonna brag about this...haha

4th: To work either as a journalist for newspaper or a correspondence for al-jazirah...big dream hah..so its gonna mean i have to work harder....

While thats for the future and what about my hobby...basically i do not have certain hobbies except there are certain things that i prefer to do than doing the other things..got what i mean.so ambivalence,,,

1st: I prefer to read books about language because it is my passion,politics because it make me aware about the situation and enviroment, history..yah because we will never understand the state we are in right now unless going back to the past..manga..come on,i need some entertainment...and yah,now i started to read novels by Mitch Albom...oho..it just make my eyes moist..

2nd: While i prefer to watch anime than anything..i'm not a tv man..i do not even watch tv when i'm at high school..but somehow anime really make me hook..it is more,once you get hook you will never really gonna escape from it..Naruto Shippuuden is my favourite..Now i'm sound childish..

3rd: I prefer listen to rock music than ballad...but ballad still could be accepted...but Nasyid..NO NO...

4th: If you gonna make me choose between coffee or tea..i will choose coffee...but for now,i have to cut down drinking coffee..it just make my teeth stain with it..a mix of cigarrete just gonna make it worse...

As a person i also had my love and hate towards something or someone...

1st: i love to kiss my mother forehead..while i hate people do something to hurt her even in a smallest way...

2nd: i love meeting new acquitance because from them i gain new experiences while i hate people are boastful ( the terms will be champion ) haha

3rd: i love receive message or call from her although seldom...i say her memories are like goldfish...you know to forget easily...i will message you later...but she forget...haha..but i'm ok with it. she say,the goldfish is just a myth...hate because i'm far away physically from her but she will always remains here to be my light...

4th: i love to test my endurance but hate if i give up in the middle..( fortunately i have never give up yet )

While there are dates that i will always remember, there will also be an event that i rather forget...

1st: 22nd March 1983 because it is my birthday...if i could forget my birthday i will never know i'm 26 right now....

2nd: 2nd Dec 2000...it is my last day at my school before i transfer to Aljunied...remembering that day...haha..not gonna mention it over here...

3rd: 21st April 1998 and yah..the day my mom try to kill herself..now that scary....

4th: 1st of March 2008...the 1st day i work at mosque..and i do not really recommend it..its better to be a student...The students two thumbs up while other than that...tho thumbs down..does the term ever exist...

Last but not least my vision as a person..basically this vision i put it into quote..so it will easily be remembered...so in every quote there is different vision for different purpose...

1st: I build my own empire..i have to stand on my own feet...i have to be responsible man in the future..i have to work hard for my family and i have to choose my own path..cool hah...

2nd: Jangan cakap benda yang belum jadi...while in life there will always possibilities...i will never ever put a stop on options and i would not conclude on something that seems to be futile....because i just have to try no matter what...

3rd: I will fail but i will never give up... i will fail in life...but if i give up i will never ever change anything about my failure..so i must raise again to correct what went wrong...

4th: Cry when you can...Laugh with your love ones..Enjoy the moment as long you are alive...

I guess thats it....while for the future,i might share a bit with all of you about my thought about love...do i really believe in love..is it worth to sacrifice everything....and who should we love...so till next time k..now you know 1/4 of me....